Why? I think so many of them are pretty, so many of them are inexpensive, so many of them are capable of very specific things, so many of them can do great things with the right constraints. And I have started to believe more strongly in purpose-specific hardware over the past year. I carry a 3DS with me, an e-reader, etc. etc. Instead of aiming for the tools around me to do everything well enough, I tend to pick out what I want to bring with me places based on what I see myself doing or needing done. And then I keep them doing those specific things.
And why does that matter? Um. Hmm. Have you ever seen "Recovery of an MMO Junkie"? It's a super cute, super sweet 12-episode anime where a girl burns out from her job and goes back to being a NEET playing MMOs and she crossplays as a guy and I guess I'm not sure what spoilers are for the series anymore, but she goes to someone's house and the first thing she sees is his keyboard and thinks, "oh my god. This is the keyboard you use to play the MMO. This is the actual one." Like seeing something intimate, seeing a part of his naked body.
Computers are appliances. But we also choose them to extend ourselves. I think computers and hardware are a form of self-expression, but then on top of that, that multiplies outward: they enable us to do different things really well, or only somewhat well, or extraordinarily well. You configure macros and aliases. You pick the right specs. You get the goddamn Sound Blaster card. The personal computer magnifies an emanation of a person, from a pure impulse to an entire world. I believe strongly in the caves.
What computers?
Well, here's my current slate:
- keina is my Mac. It's an M1 Pro, 16". I received it as a work computer and bought it back when I left. I at the time was skeptical of huge machines (I had been using an Air for a while, and really liked it), but I started to come to love the feeling of having this huge deck, this control panel-ass experience with me. I use it at home when I'm doing my job; when I'm working on music (Logic Pro); when I am doing graphics work (Photoshop + Pixelmator both!). When I'm on the road, I'll bring keina if I see myself even kinda possibly having to do work, if I see myself wanting to watch a movie with a friend (best display and speakers I have), etc.
- satsuki is my gaming laptop. It's a pink Razer Blade 14, running Windows 11 Pro, with a nice 3070 Ti in it. It's super light; it's got a great OLED on it; it's basically my fun machine. The downside? The battery life is, like, sub-2 hours. It seriously bugs me! So much so that I question whether I can bring it with me when I travel, even though it's lighter than the Mac and pretty to look at. keina lasts literally two full workdays in a row without needing to be charged, no matter what I seem to be doing. I can charge satsuki with a USB-C cable, but if I'm going to be gaming, then I'll probably need to bring the actual 85W power cable, which is another downside for travel (since I try to bring a single USB-C cable for all my devices and just top them up as they need it). I also just have yet to want to play PC games when I travel. I usually bring the Steam Deck if that's what I want to be doing, so satsuki is essentially a glorified home machine. I considered selling her off (they still sell for like, $3000 on eBay just for the colour, I think — they don't make them in pink anymore) and building out the perfect AMD+Wayland VRR NixOS gaming desktop, but then I decided against it. I had satsuki already. She is essentially a collector's item. She plays everything I need perfectly. She makes me feel relaxed.
- MINICROSS is the home server. It's a Mac mini M1 that I bought back in Vancouver when I sold off my old 2017 iMac (MACROSS8299) that was in the closet, serving as the server before her. It had bard running on it, when I ran bard for my old Discord server. It has, like, 16TB of space (just the same 8TB drive mirrored, honestly) for watching movies and anime at home. It is also a backup space for old stuff like university papers or mirroring my music library.
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yomikotsubasa is the old satsuki. In like, April, I just went out and bought a brand new Thinkpad X1 because I was having a crisis. When I'm setting up computers, when I'm getting an environment just right, when I'm learning something new about how they work, when I enable possibilities and sort out issues — I feel really calm. And I really needed some space where I could do that, to chill out. I thought that I would replace keina with her as my main computer of choice. She's tiny, has decent battery life (like, 11 hours?), is plenty capable. I got NixOS going on her; I got a nice config; I got everything down pat where she could do everything keina could. But as hardware, keina was simply better? If I was watching videos, I would prefer that screen. If I was listening to anything, keina had a nicer experience. I gave her to the CEO of our company as company property, and I recently recalled it. I think that I want yomiko to be the "fun machine" for travel, like satsuki but a bit more capable of holding a charge, since I care more about doing low-demand things on longer battery than playing, like, Code Vein at 165Hz, when I'm on a train for 6 hours.
Past and present
So I've had this disease before. I actually bought a Pinebook Pro when I was burning out at my job in 2020ish. I decided I would go for Arch Linux, since I hadn't worked with it before, and I got Sway going, got it to the point where everything was set, but it was severely limited. It is low-spec enough that Chrome is just not tenable, so we're talking no Electron apps, no application-specific web browsing, nothing but like, Dillo. I ran Midori when it was still a nice Webkit wrapper (I think they changed codebase now). I was also just frustrated with it; Wayland and X didn't seem to share a clipboard so I couldn't reliably move data around and having this Pinebook for just using vim seemed like too limited of a use case for me. I just gave it away when someone asked for it.
This past week, I was visiting my folks and my sister showed me this Thinkpad T500 she was using in high school. Using with an asterisk — it had, like, two one-paragraph reflection responses and then otherwise was untouched. She said it was similar now with her college laptop; she just doesn't use computers. No one at my parents house does. Just, you know, phone and iPad.
So, here's the thing: it's 15.6" inches, 4:3 screen, running a Core 2 Duo and 2GB RAM on Windows Vista Business. It is quintessential, like, 2006-2008 business computer. It's heavy as fuck, it has a pre-IPS screen. But it had Chrome on it, and would you look at that? Chrome ran decently enough. "Can run Chrome" is actually a decent litmus test for whether you need to stick it in an era or whether you can try to utilise it for the current world, just, you know, sparingly. That's a total bummer.
I went to a computer store around the corner and got it a 120gb ssd, replaced the RAM and brought it to 8GB. Decided I would try out Void Linux and IceWM, and keep the idle RAM at, like, 280MB. Thus we get tsubasa.
I've been using BadWolf on it as a web browser which runs real fast (but keeps JS off by default and wipes cookies every launch, which honestly pisses me off!) ... but I'm not sure what the best utility is for it. I think it's a good boomer computer — a mid-2000s, mid-range machine with some cheats enabled, called "an SSD and like 4x the RAM that's normal."
It's effectively a great computer for playing 90s and early 00s games on an era-appropriate display (tons of stuff will look weird on a 4K display), and hey, Diablo 1 runs at a rock-solid 60fps on Void. But it severely limits compatibility using Void — Steam won't launch, for some godforsaken reason — and I've been wondering if I should try a more standard distro for better compatibility with Lutris et al. Or, god forbid, like, Windows XP! If you use XP then you can't go online or really use Steam or whatever. I just don't want to be stuck digging up GOG installers for games on an ad hoc basis.
I think she can handle Steam in no browser mode, and I think all old games are gonna function great under Proton. (The test comes when we try Guild Wars 1, which also won't work on Void, which is just simply unacceptable).
Anyway, so that is my special interest thread. What about you? Do you have this illness?