Japan travelogue thread

[maru]

Table of Contents

• Tokyo -> Osaka
• Osaka II (Hep 5)
• Osaka III (Sumiyoshi Taisha)
• Osaka IV (Castle, Hep 5 Ferris Wheel)
• Kobe
• An intermission: designs
• Kyoto
• Osaka V (Yodo River)
• Kushimoto
• Nachi Waterfall
• An intermission before Side B
• Kinosaki (The onsen episode)
• Fukuoka --「それは愛じゃない。」
• Osaka VI (Sick in the city edition)
• Osaka VII (Denden Town)
• Nara
• Yoshino
• Tokyo
• Postscript

I feel like writing about the month in more longform style, so I figured I'd do so in a thread. That said, I've been awake for over a day straight, so this first post might be a bit more brief than I'd intend. I want to flag beforehand that I welcome ongoing commentary and replies! It's not a read-only thread.

Before

I played it super loose. I didn't look up anything I needed, anything I would need to prepare with; and in a lot of ways Rebecca (traveling with me) has saved my skin. It's because of her we noticed you can't really bring injectable medication, and so I left some stuff at home. I also just ensured I only had a month of my meds all around. You can get around this by just emailing ahead of time and getting a certificate. We just really didn't have time, and I didn't think it was that big of a deal just leaving some meds at home.

I ended up sleeping on Rebecca's couch the night before -- maybe only really got three hours of sleep. I remember dreaming about having my arms used as a skin graft for something else; my arms were more like a skin flap stapled together over scabs where they continually formed grafts.

Security was easy, as usual. We just waited for the flight, did our QR code processing customs and immigration beforehand (I also didn't know this was a thing) and got eSIMs. I tried to. My phone does not seem to like them. I shrugged it off and figured I'd get it when I got there.

The flight itself

Thirteen and a half hours. Nonstop from Montreal to Tokyo, for some reason? We cut straight through the country, up through Nunavut, the Territories, and Alaska, before diving down a bit to avoid Russian airspace. Most of the time it was dark.

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We got dinner, a snack, and breakfast about equally spaced out, presumably planning for us to eat dinner, immediately sleep, and then get up with Tokyo. I was completely incapable of sleep.

What did I do instead? I journalled a bit, read a bit. I watched a lot of The Sopranos. We saw Hail, Caesar! at the very start of the flight. I kept trying to sleep, but for whatever reason I just couldn't get in a position where I could easily do it. It felt like a marathon, because, well, I basically sat down for what's normally a full day of consciousness, knowing another day was about to arrive.

Getting in

Lines and lines and lines and lines. Lines circling around lines around lines. We got fingerprinted, scanned, photographed. No questions at immigrations or customs, just quietly stamping our stuff, but getting to that gate was itself a bit of a trip. We left Montreal in like 20 degree weather. It is still 35 in Tokyo. It does not let up. At the same time, the humidity doesn't quite feel brutal.

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We got onto a train heading for our first hotel -- we're spending one night in Tokyo, maybe getting some clothes, then preparing for Osaka. I couldn't help but notice the slow sunset creeping on us. I kept trying to take photos without looking like a weirdo. I felt really acutely aware -- I mean, you can't eat in public. Taking photos, even just outside, on the train, felt untenable. Oh well.

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After about an hour and a half we got to our station. It's strange to turn around and boom! It's the Tokyo Tower.

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We basically just dedicated ourselves to convenience store food tonight-- which honestly is both cheap and pretty good. You can eat a basic sandwich for CA$2.50 or something like that, 250ml cans are still $1.50. It basically just feels like the 90s or 2000s or whatever. We watched a bit of NHK -- flipping around the TV, seeing a strange game show give an animated documentary about Steve Jobs with little moe drawings of Woz and the like.

For now, I'm gonna pass out. It still feels a bit surreal, but maybe also very quickly another flavour of mundane? I don't know.

[sinku]

A travelogue!! on paralogue!!! im excited for the upcoming posts about your trip, maru! and I hope your journey from tokyo osaka is scenic

[thursday]

when i visited japan in 2018, after all that flying (18 hours for me) and line-waiting i was immediately assaulted by a woman with a microphone and a cameraman for some show where they ask foreigners about why they're coming to japan. i stood out with my freshly dyed red hair which is why I'm sure they targeted me, but I had been conscious for like 30+ hours so i don't think my interview was very interesting and i'm pretty sure it didn't get put on tv.

he he i hope you have a good time. i'm looking forward to following along.

[maru]

I apparently walked about 20,000 steps today. It doesn't really feel like it? In the same way, it's apparently like 34 degrees, but it doesn't really feel like it. Certainly nobody dresses that way. It's full uniforms, long pants, sometimes even layers. Me? I came with barely any clothes at all; the ones I did have were loose, light. I expected summer weather, so I had athletic shorts, a tank top and a loose weeb shirt from my ex-gf.

In the period after our breakup I sort of bummed her fashion sense -- big T-shirt, no pants -- and I felt like it made me look younger. It's at least a lot more like you don't care. And I guess I didn't; I sort of neglected my appearance the last few years. It felt "unimportant". Rebecca led me to feel like I should care at least a little more -- so I decided I would get some clothes today.

But not yet

At least, a little later. When we were talking about this, it was like 0500. I had gotten up at 0230, showered (I missed you, lovely soft water ...) and felt basically ready to take on the day by then. She was already awake, too, so we decided to meander the neighbourhood.

We were right beside a pier to begin with, so we started heading there. The streets were completely deserted. There were barely any cars. No one was really going to work yet. The sky was this really pretty bluegray.

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Honestly, the tone of the landscape being so affected by the sky was just one of many things that reminded me of Vancouver. The architecture reminded me of Vancouver. The mossy greens, the tile patterns in parks. As I said before, the soft water. There's a lot of JP ex-pats out there -- a lot of actual restaurants, Konbiniyas, etc -- so the food hasn't necessarily surprised me coming here in terms of flavour profile and options. But I get weirdly nostalgic for British Columbia now.

We wandered toward Tokyo Tower and ended up running into a huge Buddhist temple.

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A light gong rang repeatedly. We didn't know what to do with ourselves as monks followed each other in, chanting. Some people would follow them in and sit down while they chanted and walked. It felt weird to photograph, so I didn't.

We left soon after and wandered back to the hotel for breakfast. It was mostly just tiny pastries, so we decided to try out the famously-different Denny's -- we passed it earlier and she was curious, so it felt like we should just go for it. Well, it was indeed different. You order from tablets, the music is a pleasant jazzy piano and nobody is talking. It is a downright solemn atmosphere.

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Sipping from Dan-nyan's mugs and eating a "light breakfast" plate with 1 scrambled egg, 1 piece of bacon, a bowl of rice and miso soup -- coming to 374 cal? -- we didn't say much. We didn't even know how to leave the restaurant. Eventually it just seemed apparent that you get up and pay at the exit.

Now what? It wasn't even 0800 and it felt like it was getting towards noon. We decided to go back to the hotel room since checkout was at 1100. I ended up sleeping an hour or two and then we just decided to go do some shopping. We did need a coin purse -- we were collecting yen coins from breaking cash -- and I wanted clothes, a day bag, etc. The next stop was Don Quijote, which was just a bit of a walk from the hotel. We left our luggage in storage for the interim and went for it -- only to find it full of branded, moe paraphenelia at a bit of a markup.

I couldn't help myself. I got Flareon socks. I got a cute rabbit day bag. Paranoia Agent taught me nothing. I even got a world peace handkerchief.

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Once out ... it started raining in full force. It was just a gentle drip here and there throughout the day, but it started coming down heavy. We found a Uniqlo and uh, I don't know. I bought a lot of clothes. Enough that I could make outfits that looked like anyone else on the street. Then we went to GU and did even more. I am not proud of my retail therapy. I do feel relatively good about what I got, even if it's a little tight and continues to remind me to lose weight. I do fit into women's medium fairly well now ...

We finally headed back to the hotel to get our bags and reconsolidate. I can fit everything well, but tightly -- so I will already need something a bit more substantial for the trip home. But it's only day 2 of 30. Ugh. Anyway, we got on the Shinkansen to Osaka eventually; it went by fairly fast. Kyoto looked really pretty as it went by. A lot of the foggy coast looked super nice as it went by. I got so curious about these places -- Nagoya has this entirely different feel from the outside. And Osaka, once we got there, felt pretty different.

People talk to each other a lot. The trains weren't dead silent at all anymore; just banter and jokes. It felt a bit more easygoing suddenly. The architecture is less shiny, it's a bit dirtier overall in some places, but it's also really peaceful and nice. And it was getting to be sunset kinda fast as we made the last few stops.

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We wandered to our long-term stay ... which, I kinda forgot, was an entire house. It's an old house. It's a whole house. It's a house.

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We got kinda stuck figuring out where it was -- it's in a laneway inside another laneway -- but an older man noticed us lost and pointed us to it, since it's like ... a private house that probably has a lot of people coming and going, I guess. After we got acquainted, I wandered the lanes a bit and just looked at all the Takoyaki and Okonomiyaki stands. Everyone seems to be having a nice time. No one speaks English anymore. I feel out of my element. I sort of get why this would be appealing, but I also get why this would be lonely. There's a lot to like, and a lot you can get tired of. The minor key boss-fight chimes at each train stop, the rules and manners that are just left unspoken but seem so loud. The entire world feels like a low-key gacha game in terms of graphic and sound diesign all day, every day. Americans would seem somewhat refreshing.

No idea what's next. We'll probably pick something and do it. For now ... I should probably help my body adjust and just conk out.

[meri]

this is a nice read. traveling with you seems nice. you seem really calm and contemplative. i get like that when i travel alone, but when when i'm with others i usually can't even recall the small details. i wonder why that is?

are you shooting with a camera? the focal length tells me such. do you feel weird walking around with one? i'd think the japanese would be most icked about personal space or outright object to being photographed. it's so quiet, in those train cars. can you even get away with it?

[maru]

Shopping? Again? Yeah ... kinda.

I thought we would go immediately for day trips, but Rebecca felt like it was better to get some bearings in the city, first. I did have some stuff I still needed -- I now had a day bag with tons of pockets and space, a lil notebook and pen, my camera, wallet, we have IC cards -- I also didn't come with any socks, so I've gradually just been filling out my wardrobe buying socks from the Family Mart one at a time. They actually have a lot of pretty decent clothes there for not that much money so it didn't feel weird, just convenient.

Anyway. I wanted sandals, she wanted a film camera, I could use a few hygenic items, so we figured we would go to a department store ... but then got detoured right out of Nakazakicho.

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I have a hard time even finding this place on Google Maps. It's not the Tenjinbashi-suji street. It's some other place, here-ish, with a very similar setup. The stores are smaller, cheaper -- mix of local and tourists. There's a few cafes with gratuitous French and a lot of emphasis on the finest Melbourne coffee beans. I didn't even know Australia had a coffee scene.

As we made our way out of there and up some small side streets, a guy stopped buy on bike and pulled out Google Translate saying "Is there any prohibition against cannabis?" and it was hard to understand. Like, here? Yea. In Canada? No. In the States? Depends. Then he was like "oh, we are right by my house." so it was apparent we were invited to go smoke weed. Uhh.

We ran into this cool retro store as I tried to find those dresses that are two long sleeves in a front with a pseudo-jumper feel going on ... they had similar, but were cut for someone a bit shorter than me. Then we just sort of explored Hep Five for a bit. It was at least air conditioned inside, and it was hitting a humidex of 40 degrees even before noon.

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The shirts often do this "polite explainer" thing. I saw this amazing looking shirt that explained what a MiniDisc was, but it was $50, and I don't know. That's a lot for a shirt.

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Around 1700 we started heading home -- straight into rush hour. Then on our way out of the station it started sunshowering hard. Once home, uh ... well, I guess I slept for like twelve hours in my clothes. I wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel ...

[maru]

are you shooting with a camera? the focal length tells me such. do you feel weird walking around with one? i'd think the japanese would be most icked about personal space or outright object to being photographed. it's so quiet, in those train cars. can you even get away with it?

Just don't photograph, like, one distinct person, basically. Same as in Canada, in my opinion? Osaka train cars are more conversational but I try to avoid shooting in smaller spaces; in public, it's sort of whatever. The first few from the trip in from the airport was a nearly empty car.

I shoot with a Fujifilm XS10 with a single, fixed-length lens. I try to shoot at a 35mm equivalent and make myself compose the shot by moving around. I'm shooting straight JPG out of the camera, I don't really have the tools to process RAW onhand. It's just in my bag, and I take it out when the colours seem right. I tend to be more of a "colours and shapes" person rather than a ... "here's a thing" person. Sometimes a combination in abstract is pretty and I want to know if I can replicate it. Phone cameras usually can't get the colours right. I tried to capture the way the light was very slightly blue this morning and ... it's nowhere to be found.

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As for behaviour, I don't know -- no one has reacted negatively at all to us. We seem abnormally polite for tourists ... I felt weird in the shops yesterday, people just pushing past me or making demands in other languages at store owners. I thought tourists would be formal, speak Japanese, make sure to thank everyone for their help or whatever. Not everyone is a weeb I guess.

edit: I just remembered another thing -- photography is actually happening a lot. We were shopping in a store and a girl went by with her phone on a selfie stick just ... Twitch streaming the whole store. Recording. Whatever. It was literally just narration of stuff as she browsed. It felt intense. Likewise, a lot of stores are just ... full blast playing anime music, store themes, overlapping with tons of signs for deals or promotions. It feels like sensory overload basically anytime you're in a store bigger than a mom-and-pop. There are times where things are really quiet. I like it when restaurants are just playing quiet little piano pieces, for example. And there are times where things are just way louder than I've ever experienced elsewhere. I'm still sort of feeling this distinction out.

[sinku]

loved reading this to wrap up my night, maru. the pictures are good. that covered street-mall area you couldnt find on the map looks really wonderful.

do you have any idea of the age of the house you are staying in? is it like, old old, or just old? lol you travelled crazy light, not even any socks?!

[maru]

Do you think much about difference? It's all I can think about today. There's so many examples of "try this foreign thing" here, whether it's the Girl Scout uniforms at thrift stores, the vague English explainers on T-shirts, the Italian restaurants and especially the French that's littered everywhere ... there was a restaurant offering New York-style pork on rice, or something, and I just don't think New York is going to make a donburi better than Tokyo. When I am here, I want Japan to be itself. But when we are home, I think it's not unusual that you want to get away from yourself. "You"ness can feel like a cage, and it's not strange to want to be something else. At least a little bit, sometimes.

I can't help but think of Satoshi Kon a lot whenever I see the entertainment industry, the commercials, the music. His work had an emphasis on the pressure behind performance, whether it's literal or the mundane rituals in the day to day. At the same time I also see a lot of examples in media of characters being crushed on the pressure of the everyday ritual recouperating or else leaving entirely. The isekai genre takes on another meaning here, because of what "this world" means. It means being you. But being you is a bit of a tiresome thing.

We started the day in Amerikamura and then meandered into Dōtonbori. It was like immediately being thrown into a Times Square situation. Where'd all this stuff come from? How can so many shops be in this city? We just went shopping for like two days. I keep noticing girls holding hands, but apparently that just means something else here.

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After going camera shopping (still nothing cheap enough to warrant purchase for either of us, but it's fun to look!), we went to our first Buddhist temple of the day in this same neighbourhood, of all places, where a tour guide led another dozen or so tourists in at the same time. Then we started heading into way more residential territory to hit this cafe, which seats at most 4 people and just has light jazz playing to a garden outlook. I start to wonder if Rebecca has a Ghibli fascination going on. Around this time I started to lose steam -- I got up at 6am, left house at 9am and it was like, 1pm or so. We were thinking about a midday nap before doing some evening stuff, but I started to feel like I just wanted to push past it.

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We climbed up some steep stairs just around the corner and found another Buddhist temple, and paid our respects again. Then we went to Ebisuchō to head to Isshin-ji Temple and ended up wandering into a fancy restaurant by accident. The guys were like "you can sit with us if you want " continuing a trend of guys being forward here.

We paid our respects at the actual temple for our third time, then went even further out south to Sumiyoshi Taisha, a Shinto shrine and enormous garden. We got fortune charms and paid our respects to the sanjin. Four times! Ah ah ah.

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It was getting to be kinda late but I didn't feel ready to go yet. For some reason each time we went to a temple I felt more and more energetic and the shrine itself exited to a huge park at the prettiest time of the day. So I said we should wander around some more.

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Then after some shaved ice and onigiri we finally headed home. Meaning I've been on my feet for like 13 or so hours today. I feel pretty good overall. I've been trying to pace myself -- Rebecca has like equally packed days planned consistently, and we're supposed to go to Kyoto this weekend. I feel grateful; I find myself doing each day an amount I would've done spread out over a week, and like I'm being pushed to see how much energy I really have in order to get more out of each day here. It's fun to just say "what's over there?", go pick up another sports drink to keep your body moving and just go look. I got lost watching the light against empty chairs and then again watching kids chase each other with a bug net. I know there's a lot of pressure, but how can it still feel so ... healthy, culturally? How is it all these people came out to this park on a Thursday not to sit and gossip with food or listen to music or whatever, but just to have fun out here? I don't understand this; I feel like I live somewhere where we encourage ourselves to relax as a cultural maxim, and yet I have not felt this relaxed in a long time, just watching other people's lives go by against the sunset.

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do you have any idea of the age of the house you are staying in? is it like, old old, or just old? lol you travelled crazy light, not even any socks?!

I didn't pack much. I thought I would bring nothing at all and then over the past few days realised what that literally meant. I wore an outfit here. I packed pyjamas. I packed underwear. That's all. I wasn't even going to bring a carry-on until my roommate insisted.

[JennyDog]

This is lovely to hear, I adore the photos.

re: guys being forward, like in a flirty way? does it feel like there's an expectation?

[Pogckets]

What IS over there?

[Pogckets]

If you happen to travel North I have a friend Id encourage you (request even) to bother

[maru]

Another long day -- we ended up walking like 20km today overall. I know I meant to keep it to the travelogue, but some of you may have spotted me posting a picture here and there. I will not double post a photo, but expound upon this one.

We opened the day around 8am flat heading to a Shinto shrine uptown -- this one had a market inside of it, though I did not know what I would do with anything there. On our way there kids were headed to school, elderly people saying good morning -- and what felt like "welcome" though I am not sure the word. It is not the same word people use in restaurants. Realising that we had gone days without fruit or vegetables at all I wanted an apple, so we stopped by a market to get one. It was $3 per apple. It was okay, enormous forgettable Jonagolds.

Over the shrines the past few days I paid out my yen coins so much that I just ran out and had to start breaking bills at vending machines to get more. It was also at this point that I realised ... I forgot my SD card at home, so I was stuck with phone photography. Ah well.

We headed to another retro-styled cafe, though this one staffed with an older man who made his coffee with a siphon -- giving the appearance of a bunson burner. I really want one now... He was really friendly and apparently wanted us to come closer to chat with him but I did not understand that. He gave us postcards and Matsuri fans and showed us photos of him during Matsuri and in what seemed like Geisha attire. I did not know what to make of that. Luckily, Rebecca takes on the more outgoing persona and I get a bit more kuu, speaking softly and precisely but -- honestly, if you speak even a little Japanese then they just talk to you in full Japanese and you get lost anytime you go off script. I find this very lonely as a concept. I feel like I can't get to know anyone or go further than pleasantries. I try to show deference and respect, but I've never told anyone my name or where I am from.

Trying to pace ourselves we took a small transit trip and walked a little further toward Osaka Castle, which was maybe the most tourist-y of all the stuff we've seen so far. It feels like such a haunted place and yet it's just a fully renovated museum where you wear the samurai helmet and buy Naruto and fake katanas at the gift shop afterward. And don't get me wrong -- the gift shop is enormous. It's this whole other building. I kept being afraid that if I touched a particular old stone I would awaken some sort of restless spirit, but ... there's not that much that's old there to be found anymore. Just a Doubletree horizon line.

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A few classes of Japanese gradeschoolers in yellow hats were walking around and one said hello to me and seemed pumped when I said hi back. When we left the castle another class was being escorted by teachers waving flags for each class. I decided to get in line with them and pretend I was also in school on a field trip.

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We did that for a good ten minutes before they finally split away and we were left hanging in front of Q's Mall, around when it was lunchtime, so we stopped in for food there. I got this "Full Moon Burger" that was decked with orange mayo and a drippy fried egg. It was a surprisingly huge burger. We then decided instead of wandering an hour out of the city to a shrine up the mountain we would wait for its lantern festival in two more weeks and instead focus on the city proper, and so we went looking around at shops and stores and people.

After some vintage stores and an attempt to find Shin Rizumu CDs at a Tower Records (order only!) we walked all the way back to Hep Five which took 45 minutes or so. At least by 5pm it didn't feel so bad.

Rebecca was looking for -- well, let's not say it's school attire, but they definitely had school attire there. Apparently the shop sells "free uniforms" where you buy different colours for your afterschool or your weekend. I am 30 years old. I will never wear a seifuku and not look weird. Still. I thought about it.

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Then we finally got to take the ferris wheel at sunset. No line, like $5 ... it was kind of scary, even though it was an extremely robust and steady trip. I guess I just never got that far up before, hanging in a little capsule.

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I felt myself getting more and more energetic as the day went on, but I can't pin why. Around 9ish we decided to wind down and just get Family Mart dinners instead of a whole "sit in a laneway and hang out" experience. I'm not sure what's going on tomorrow -- I think lazing around Kobe? After today it's a harder ask to head out to Kyoto on a weekend. I hope I can write something a little more introspective soon -- I feel like so many things were happening today that all I have are sensory experiences, and yet -- what really happened? We saw things ... I felt happy and enlivened by so many people. I felt happy to be out that long and yet feeling like there was so much more to do and see. It feels like such a creative place, but I can't put my finger on why. Maybe it's just inspiring, right now.

If you happen to travel North I have a friend Id encourage you (request even) to bother

How far north? We played with the idea of Hokkaido but it feels less likely now. Though the thought of the weather being less punishing is tantalising...

[Pogckets]

If you happen to travel North I have a friend Id encourage you (request even) to bother

How far north? We played with the idea of Hokkaido but it feels less likely now. Though the thought of the weather being less punishing is tantalising...

[maru]

Warning: This is a whinier post than usual. But in the interest of logging my general feeling as I go...

We decided to visit Kobe today. It seems like the next week looks more like a quieter weekend before doing Kyoto SIDE A and a full tour of southern Kansai villages. My friend Alice will be in town -- she has said she's willing to come with. So it will be a Bonding Exercise with Dubious WiFi. We also think we might, in fact, end up doing a tour west to Hiroshima and Fukuoka(?!) after my birthday, which ... incidentally is the start of Tsukimi this year, so I will be at a fancy ryokan in an onsen town for a festival...

It's overwhelming. Right? I felt really aware of what it means to be a "tourist" today -- as someone who has never done so much in so little time, it's taken me a second to realise this is what tourism is. You spend a bit too much, you see a lot of stuff, you overwhelm yourself with life. I always visited places in a more sleepy way. I organised myself around seeing friends, not having experiences. Alice said Japan is the best honeymoon country just because it has more stuff than anywhere else in the world. I really feel that lately.

It's been more processing lately about "home", "work", "the right profession," "the right lifestyle," "the right place."

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Jesus Christ was the boss of all until 1992. Then a new man came in...

I felt really aware of just ... how you can just live a certain way. That is to say, like New York, Japan is a place that existed in pictures, seemingly only in Google Street View and as reference pictures for the Anime World. The architecture is uncanny; the density is familiar, the foods are themselves places I've seen. It's all been real to me, but not like this.

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I guess this is what the honeymoon phase is. I started to feel almost resentful for home for all the things we don't do. We don't encourage each other to be presentable, we don't carry handkerchiefs, we don't treat aesthetics as anything particularly paramount in even just everyday graphic design, we don't have drawings in advertising, we don't teach each other about world history or biology as part of the news or regular programming with ad-hoc illustrations and cosplay; we don't really care about high speed rail, or have venues playing shows with 5 local bands for like $20 several times a week; and we don't have canned coffee and we don't set up restaurants in laneways and even just being able to set up a tiny cafe in the nests of some quiet neighbourhood labyrinth is seemingly impossible to do. And why not?!

I want our density to be 10x what it is. I want to feel as alive as I do here, wherever that is. And I can't tell if it's just the novelty, the movement or just how creative it feels. I feel like where I am, in Montreal, is the best place in the country for everything I want in life. I just now wonder about the country itself. You know?

My relationship with this particular culture was always something of a guilty pleasure. Hearing Japanese just immediately put me in a happy place in Vancouver. And in some ways, hearing French makes me feel like I've come home. But I'm really aware now that I would never belong here. It's fine to visit. People are welcoming -- but only insofar as you don't get the idea that you settle here. It's nihongo jouzu and we nod bashfully and appreciatively and we go home. I don't want to be the only force that tries to make my own home something that I am proud of. I feel sad that I don't want to embrace my own home that way. I feel confused as to whether I should reform it, or reform myself, or embrace that my own appreciation of this culture is probably just a part of me. I feel conflicted, I guess is what I mean. We walked around Osaka yesterday night and crossed this enormous bridge looking out at the water and the houses and we both felt like ... it felt really possible, it felt desirable, to imagine what life would be like here, even though we knew it was not something that could feasibly happen. I briefly looked at visas today and thought about it and it felt like it just didn't make sense, but I couldn't find a way to take the things I like about here and bring it home, and I couldn't think of where else to go. I feel like I am supposed to just like my home.

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Command spell: Je suis l'Immaculee Conception

So. We visited Kobe today. And we did not have the beef; we climbed hill after hill to go through three shrines, as I, the androgynous bodyguard, accompanied my friend on a purification quest (she's actually just getting illustrations for each shrine in a big book and ... also, stamps from basically everywhere that offers commemorative stamps).

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We found a cafe with two floors that had more of a laptop culture and continued to eat sandwiches, which are the main food you will ever find at a cafe, unless it's trying to be an American cafe in which case you'll get pastries there. I mostly just miss, like, a good Americano. I drink a lot of canned coffee here and have a lot of cafe coffee and it has a specific taste; it's its own thing. It's thin, mellow stuff that doesn't feel all that caffeinated. It's sweeter by default.

We then went looking through record stores and I found a whole bunch of stuff that would've been pretty hard to find otherwise, and some of it for weirdly cheap (internally I note that some of these are 20 or 40 years old or whatever and yet it feels current. This is how my dad felt playing Depeche Mode and The Smiths in 2003.). Both stores had pretty big Western sections and there was a few stores that referenced The Beatles. We also found a much cheaper camera store where I avoided spending too much on an aesthetically pleasing vlogcam.

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Then we decided to call it a little early. We headed back before doing some time in a tiny izakaya in one of the laneways behind our house, serving a lot of Okinawan cuisine, where I had a particularly bitter yakisoba. This is apparently a type of fruit. And then I showed Rebecca episode 1 of Excel Saga because I reference it a lot and it's a source of nostalgia and comfort for me. I'm realising just how fully booked we are the entire next month and I hope I can continue to use it to feel out what changes I want to make in my own life, if any -- or if I'm just feeling the usual cycle while I'm here on a hit parade of pretty things.

Still. The busyness, the heat, the movement. It's soothing to be pure doing.

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