Japan travelogue thread

[sinku]

I apologize it took me so long to write this. A day after your last post, I made a note and jotted down ideas that I’d hoped to finish by Saturday. It's been a week since then and. Clearly I got very distracted. This was an excellent thread and I enjoyed all of the pictures, everything you had to say, and that playlist too. Thank you for sharing your trip, maru.

When I come home from a long trip, the week following is something like mourning. Being home again and slipping into the old way felt tragic and weird. I desperately didn't want to, wanted my mission in life to never do the same thing again. The end of a trip like that is horrible for me. Traveling home is turmoil… I always cry on my way out. Cry before leaving, then at the train station, on the platform in the cold, or warm in airport terminal, while I’m sitting waiting to be picked up at a bus stop or sprinting to catch a train in the tube. Then when I’m home safe, it’s mourning. Maybe another small cry, maybe sleep, maybe awake all night. I start to seize on those sensations and want to explode or do something high effort, like do a big crash diet to put this sudden wave of energy to work. Since it’s invigorating, like losing a ton of weight. Of course I can’t slip back into this. My body has changed shape. I gotta get this thing tailored.

But it's usually in that order, some great sadness and then feeling pumped, then maybe nothing. One very powerful memory I have of coming home after a year was that all of it, the house, my bedroom, felt smaller. The corridor darker, dirtier, and very grey and cold. It was a grave, quiet drive all the way home, the situation was very bleak. Sometimes I think I'm still living in the afterglow of that feeling, like I'm still living in a dream. Maybe I'll wake up and be 4 years younger. Do it all again but make a bunch of higher-order mistakes.

I've been contemplating identity for a week. What it means to be me in particular, a couple of major facets of that, feeling a lot of anxiety and frustration and despair. But reading how you feel to be home, the perspective the trip gave you, reminded me I had those same sorts of feelings. And reminded me that theres a lot to appreciate when looking inward, contemplating the circumstances of one's birth. I don't feel it's accurate to say travel strengthens your convictions, but I think the thoughts it spurs probably lead to something like that. Reassessment, maybe rejuvenation. I hope you hold onto your happiness.

[maru]

When I come home from a long trip, the week following is something like mourning. Being home again and slipping into the old way felt tragic and weird. I desperately didn't want to, wanted my mission in life to never do the same thing again. The end of a trip like that is horrible for me. Traveling home is turmoil… I always cry on my way out. Cry before leaving, then at the train station, on the platform in the cold, or warm in airport terminal, while I’m sitting waiting to be picked up at a bus stop or sprinting to catch a train in the tube. Then when I’m home safe, it’s mourning.

I didn't realise you felt that way — I feel like we're not supposed to, though? Like it means something bigger than just post-travel blues. Shouldn't everything feel "right"?

I've been contemplating identity for a week. What it means to be me in particular, a couple of major facets of that, feeling a lot of anxiety and frustration and despair. But reading how you feel to be home, the perspective the trip gave you, reminded me I had those same sorts of feelings. And reminded me that theres a lot to appreciate when looking inward, contemplating the circumstances of one's birth. I don't feel it's accurate to say travel strengthens your convictions, but I think the thoughts it spurs probably lead to something like that. Reassessment, maybe rejuvenation. I hope you hold onto your happiness.

It's strange; I'm in New York right now and whenever I feel stressed or emotional I go to the Japanese grocery and sip on barley tea and it's now like a security blanket. Japanese culture and language has always been that for me — and I guess it continues to be. Some faraway place somehow makes the world seem real, constant, outside these circumstances. The parallel universe is soothing simply because it is, and it is not you...

[sinku]

I didn't realise you felt that way — I feel like we're not supposed to, though? Like it means something bigger than just post-travel blues. Shouldn't everything feel "right"?

I suppose it depends. On family holidays, I was certainly relieved to be home on a few occasions. But those there were always trips that sucked or where something occured that made it weird. While traveling independently, those trips were emotionally charged and became very important to me, so coming home didn't feel right. And there was plenty of concern instead, anxiety that I'd never be able to do such a thing again. Something could be wrong in those cases, but, isn't it normal to never want something you cherish to disappear?

It's strange; I'm in New York right now and whenever I feel stressed or emotional I go to the Japanese grocery and sip on barley tea and it's now like a security blanket. Japanese culture and language has always been that for me — and I guess it continues to be. Some faraway place somehow makes the world seem real, constant, outside these circumstances. The parallel universe is soothing simply because it is, and it is not you...

anti-maru is in the other world doing the same thing backwards to cancel out your relaxation, every freaking time.

[8sumint]

amazing thread and great pictures.... i found the eloquent telling of so many tightly packed experiences and little anecdotes real freaking evocative

i wanna go to japan someday